Fly Swatters

As I sit at my desk this afternoon, a fly has chosen to continually buzz around my head. Brushing it aside and continuing my work, it returns and proceeds, not only to buzz around my head but to take its infernal buzzing straight to my ear. As one who believes in trying to reason with unwanted behavior, I admonish the fly and warn him (or her, never could figure out the difference)to cease or I will get the fly swatter. It ignores my warning.

Let us please have a moment of silence for the fly……………………….. .

Now think about it. Wouldn’t it be great if we had a fly swatter of sorts for all those little annoyances in life? That customer service calls where, after endless button pushing and hold time, you are, without warning transferred to their call center in Kenya. Pull out the fly swatter and ‘SMACK’ – you’re immediately transferred to an apologetic supervisor who not only gives you a full refund, but lowers the interest rates on two of your credit cards!

Or here’s one of my favorites. The driver with a cell phone stuck to their ear, entering the freeway without looking, pulls out in front of you even though there isn’t a car behind you for a mile. And then, to make it worse, they slow down to 10 mph below the speed limit! Here comes the fly swatter from under your seat and ‘SMACK’ – out of nowhere a police car pulls up beside them, motions them to pull over and tickets them for inattentive driving!

And how about that annoying spouse (husband or wife, you pick it) who insists on getting in the last word long after an argument has long ended and you’re finally cooling off. Here comes that fly swatter again, and ‘SMACK’ – That last word turns into a full and unequivocal apology; and you’re taken out for a night of dinner and dancing (or a pro football game in a nearby city depending upon your position).

Folks, the reality is there does not exist a fly swatter for those annoyances in life. (And I strongly suggest that you do not attempt to use the household variety in any of the above situations for obvious, and some not so obvious reasons). But there is something we can do when in similar situations.

Get a real BIG Smile on your face and think of that fly swatter!

Caveat: For those of you who come away from this story feeling that I advocate violence in any way, shape or form; please understand that the ‘SMACK’ as used in this article is for illustrative purposes only, and should not be construed to be a physical action. Please be assured that no call center operators, stupid drivers or loving spouses were harmed during (and hopefully after) the writing of this blog.

Enjoy the Day!

Copyright 2009 Joel A. White